I’ve been into non-fictional accounts of people’s lives ever since I discovered Ann Morrow Lindbergh and a biography about her in my high school library (my stamped check-out-date being the only one in the front of the book). So of course I jumped at reading the collection of essays by Lauren Hough, Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing. It was a book club pick but I was planning on checking it out after catching her Cable Guy essay in the Huff Post last year. Something about the voice was captivating; hard, yet tender? Whatever it was, I was drawn in from the start.
There’s 11 essays in total, each covering a theme while narrating Hough’s life, with the exception of the first essay, Solitaire, which was like a wide introduction full of relevant background information needed for a fuller understanding of everything else Hough discusses later on. A rather extended umbrella paragraph, if you will, that provided context for decisions made as the essays go on. Solitaire also sets up Hough as a very interesting narrator. At first I wanted to throw her in that “unreliable narrative” box, but that was low mental work on my part. Hough admits to lying, and doing so quite often, but as her story unwinds you understand more and more how hard it is to describe the exact truth. Any book that reminds me of Tim O’Brien’s The Things We Carried (re story truth/happening truth) sends a tingle down my spine, but I won’t delve into that analysis, despite the similarities.
Beyond the narration, which was very humorous at times, some very poignant marks were made about social issues and just the decisions she made in general. Leaving a cult to join the air force…another cult, how easy it is to slide deeper into poverty when resources are scarce. Food trauma really gets me. I think The Slide was my favorite essay because of this. By the end of that essay Hough’s resilient nature was evident, and as the essays continue and you get more information about the childhood she endured in the cult, you understand how such a twisted experience gave her skills to save herself—the will not to be broken—but also understand that she was likely doomed from the start.
By the last essay you realize that there’s no solution for all this pain. Hough has laid out a bunch of messed up realities surrounding our society, offering no solutions except the hope you can build up along the way—small beautiful things that shouldn’t be taken for granted—which is more than I expected. Even so, I was left feeling exhausted, but I imagine that was the intention. I happen to like it when stories exhaust me so this was an enjoyable read. It stretched the mind and provided a window into a life different than my own, yet so relatable. I’m the type of masochist who likes seeing my own pain reflected back to me on paper. If that sounds relatable then Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing might be a good fit for you.